When people become memories

When we were young, our parents used to tell us so much about the importance of finding a good career and becoming successful. They used to tell us what to study? Where to study? How much is a good salary? And so on.

But, they never prepared us to handle the loss of our loved ones, salvage ourselves from a broken relationship, or handle failure.

Everyone assumes we’ll figure it out. It is funny that they never thought the same about our career.

During 2020 and 2021, we’ve seen thousands of families lose their loved ones. And they were totally unprepared to handle the loss. They were stressed, angry, and hurting.

Even though no amount of preparation could’ve helped them cope up with the loss, teaching them early on about when to ask for help would’ve helped them handle the situation better.

When my father passed away in 2015, I was depressed. I had panic attacks, and was suffering from acid reflux all the time. People around me blamed my weight and food habits. A few of the uncles I know asked, “Who gets stress at this age?!”. They were sure that I was the problem. Nobody advised me to get help. Instead, they said, “that’s how life is. It is painful”.

It took me a while before I learned to process his loss. But, it was a long and painful journey. Maybe I could’ve done better if I had professional help early on.

Today, parents teach kids about ‘good touch’ and ‘bad touch’. They should also talk to them about how to handle the loss of their loved ones.

They should be made to understand that it is natural and everyone has to go through it at some point. They should be told that it is okay to mourn the loss. They should also be taught to celebrate the life of their loved ones after they’re gone.

I remember a Buddhist quote, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional”. Learning the realities of life is painful. But getting help at the right time will bring down our suffering.